The law has been changed or is being changed to make it illegal to use a mobile phone in a car. Hey, that is good, isn’t it?
But the mutterings are regarding mobile phone use, you guessed it, on bicycles.
Why not make it illegal to use a mobile on a bicycle as well? Well I can think of some good reasons why not.
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Money
Time
Silliness
What am I talking about? Well; here in the Netherlands I have seen cyclists carrying and using mobile phones – and yes they are a pain. There they are, talking away, riding over a narrow bridge, bus behind, bikes ahead, cars ahead, oh, and cars and bikes behind, without a care in the world except for the conversation.
Oh yes, it should be stopped, shouldn’t it?
BUT – Money & Time & Silliness
What is that about?
Well; if they stop mobile phone use on bicycles – the number of hours spent defining what cannot be carried on a bicycle will take a great deal of time and money. How so?
Well – I have seen all of the following on bicycles.
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Many people talking on mobile phones so ban mobile phone use on bicycles.
Many people doubling others, and talking to each other with great concentration on the talking. Ban doubling of others.
Many people (not only men) carrying crates of empty beer bottles, and one person carrying 2 crates of beer bottles on the carrier behind – using one hand to steer the bike and the other to hold the crate or crates of empty bottles. Ban carrying crates of empty beer bottles.
Many people each carrying a crate of full beer bottles. Unfortunately I did not see the one person carrying 2 crates of full beer bottles on the carrier behind, but my guess is that he did – again using one hand to steer the bike, and the other to hold the crates of beer. Ban carrying crates of full beer bottles. 
I did tell a whopper here. Best Beloved saw the man carrying two crates of empty bottles – but he described it so well and at great length, so I am sure you can picture it as well.
Cyclists carrying their dry cleaning – one hand on the handle bars, and other one high in the air with plastic covered dry cleaning floating in the breeze. Ban carrying drycleaning on bicycles.
Cyclists doubling a child – picture this – child with little feet stands on the carrier at the back, with their hands on the shoulders of the cyclist. Ban carrying unrestrained children on bicycles.
Cyclists carrying one or more huge bunches of flowers in one hand and arm and the other hand holding the handle bars. Picture the flowers everywhere should they drop and an incident occur; or should that say, if an incident occurs picture the flowers everywhere already ready for the end of the life. Ban carrying flowers or encourage it so that flowers are readily available for a damaged person.
Cyclists carrying 2 or more bags of groceries in one hand. Ban carrying of groceries.
Cyclists carrying pets in pet carriers – that are not attached to bike carrier – you can see it can’t you – only one hand on the handle bars. Ban carrying unattached pet carriers.
Cyclists exercising their dogs – Picture the dog is on a lead – running by the cyclist in the traffic. The cyclist has one hand on the handlebars and one on the dog lead (dogs do go their own way). Ban exercising of dogs.
Cyclist carrying a chair over one shoulder held by one hand – and you guessed it only one hand on the handle bars. Ban carrying of furniture on a bicyle.
Cyclist on unicycle – juggling clubs – he dropped the clubs and fell or jumped off the unicycle. It happened so fast that it was hard to tell. It wasn’t a real problem because he was on the footpath – but had he been on the road or on bicycle path where he should have been %^&(*(%#. I think you have to ban juggling on a unicycle on the road, bike path and footpath and maybe just ban juggling while you are at it, because someone could have fallen over the clubs that went everywhere, or simply ban unicycles unless you work in circus, and that would fix the entire problem.
2 Cylists together carrying a long piece of timber – each with one arm around the timber ……. what can you say – they had to get that timber to somewhere. Ban carrying items between 2 cyclists unless they can each ride with both hands on the handlebars of their respective bikes. My father did this with my Uncle Orla in New Zealand in the very early 1950′s. But they still do it here nearly 60 years later.
Then you see cyclists riding alongside each other almost arm in arm, almost snogging. A bloke with one arm draped over the shoulder of his girlfried. Well resting on the shoulder closest to him – so I guess that is safe enough and I am beginning to be a little bit dramatic.
And you see cyclist with their hand on the shoulder of a person riding a scooter – hitching a ride as it were – Ban that.
You will see one cyclist with a hand on another smaller or older or frailer cyclist – giving them a helpful energy push along. Ban people cycling who could ever need that helping hand.
Then on Sunday when we thought it could not get any sillier – we watched a young woman ride across the road towards us from a side road and onto the the bike lane on our side of the road – it took a second to work out what she was carrying. She was carrying a ladder – and I do believe that that ladder was twice as long as her bicycle, maybe that is a slight exageration – but the ladder had at least 4 steps. Ban carrying ladders.
What can I say – not too much I guess, but if they decided to ban mobile phone use on bicycles – consider the issues and the time and money involved, because they surely would have to ban the carrying of the items in my current list, which is by no means complete.
I am beginning to believe that mobile phone use on a bicycle is the safest of all things to be using or carrying on a bicycle.
The easiest way to fix this entire problem of safety on a bicycle and not spend time and money on the process 
is to BAN THE BIKE
And that would be just plain silliness now, wouldn’t it?
Tags: ban mobile phone, Bike Rides, carry goods, cell phone, daily living, mobile phone, walk the dog
I gather you have heard partial mutterings about banning cell phone use in a car in NZ. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but cell phone use in cars has not been banned in NZ. The use of hand held cell phones in cars has been banned. The phone must be in a bracket, so even the hands free kit may not be used if the phone is not in a bracket. It’s much safer but really a huge nuisiance not getting messages until you are too late to act upon it, like being told a meeting is cancelled before you are halfway there, but you can’t get the message cos you are driving and not answering the phone.
I wonder why fiddling with the radio station has not been banned, or what about changing CDs, or putting on makeup, reading the paper, brushing ones hair, eating , drinking or even driving no hands. All potentially as dangerous as the poor little cell phone
Then of course what about the distractions of children being in the same car???
Like the bikes cars may carry many strange things in strange places, however I am not as eloquent as you in describing them all.
So maybe along with banning the bike we should also ban the car. Just think how much healthier we would all be and heavan forbid how much better we might all communicate with our fellow man, with or without a hand held cell phone!
I have seen on the Auckland motorway a women putting on her lipstick and a man shaving – go figure “the insanity of it all”.